Many of you know I have worked for the local affiliate of National Public Radio for 12 years. I am happy there. I LOVE my job. I have always felt appreciated at my job and work with a great group of people.
Two weeks ago a huge amount of funding got cut from Public Radio and in a second round of cuts at the state level, Gov. Rick Scott cut ALL funding to our station. The losses totaled about $150,000.00. That's a LOT of money and our station took some serious hits job wise and funding wise. My job was one of them.
I work very part time and our livelihood is enhanced by my income, certainly not dependent on it. The financial impact was not nearly so huge as the emotional impact. I have always felt like Gulf Coast State College was to be a part of my life for a very long time in some capacity so I began to question that maybe I had misunderstood God. I had a short term identity crisis--I had been this person doing this job for so long, what did this mean for who I was going to be now?
Over the course of many years God has repeatedly brought me back to a very simple concept, it's not about what I DO, its about who I AM. And the Lord brought this front and center in my thoughts immediately after I was told my contract was not being renewed. I was not surprised as I had been following the news. I WAS surprised at the identity crisis since I thought I already had a good handle on the "being" vs, "doing" concept. And yet here I was, once again, wrapping up such great investment in what I "did".
So I wrestled with it and with God's voice over that 2 days or so. My husband and I prayed together and individually. We prayed that God would work all this out according to His plans and purposes, not ours. And both of us knew very clearly that I was to wait. Do nothing, and see what He would do. That meant no job hunting, no putting my name and/or situation out there with an announcement, just WAIT.
In the meantime I wrote my Division Head and my Programming Manager letters of thanks for the awesome 12 years, reassurance that God would take good care of me and others affected by the loss of funding, and expressed my own compassion for them and the difficulties they have faced in trying to financially keep the station afloat while making the hard decisions to let some of us go. I had peace, REAL peace about everything. And my JOY remained intact too. I am fairly certain that people who know me had no idea I was going to be leaving the college in a few short weeks. God was so near to me and just so GOOD to me during this time. My time with my husband home could have been overshadowed by the news but instead God made our time even better than it has ever been. Crazy in the face of all that was going on but in my experience God shines the brightest when things look the craziest.
6 days later I went to work to begin the process of transitioning my responsibilities to the Programming Manager but the station got knocked off the air repeatedly that day so he was in crisis mode and unable to spend time with me getting the transition started. I was a bit disappointed, I was ready to do this and excited about whatever God was going to do next and this seemed to hinder the moving forward component of things for me.
7 days later I receive a phone call to go see my Division Head next week and sign a 1 year renewal on my contract. I was blown away! I certainly did not expect to continue employment but I did expect God to move somehow. Talk about unexpected!
So even though I will continue to "do" what I've been doing for over a decade; I will do it with a fresh understanding that producer, writer, website contributor, voice, those are things I "do" not who I "am" and I am extremely grateful to God for how He has moved in this tough situation.
Blessings, Ya'll,
Robin
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